When you pick a prickly pear...
On today's hike I attempted to pick a prickly pear fruit from a cactus because it looked juicy. As I did, I sung in my head a line from the Bear Necessities song in Jungle Book:
when you pick a pawpaw, or a prickly pear...
I was naturally cautious, remembering Mowgli's failed attempt and assuming they had "prickly" in their name for a good reason. I imagined any spikes would be obviously visible or I'd be given short sharp shock telling me to let go. But I didn't feel any instant pain, and was able to satisfyingly twist the fruit away from the plant, placing it in my bag for later, when it could be safely dissected in the habitat of an apartment. My domain.
It didn't quite go like that. As soon as it was in my bag I noticed what looked like hundreds of tiny needles left in the offending fingers of my right hand. I had to keep that hand spread wide open to prevent the tiny needles forcing my fingers to jab at each other. My left hand had no assistance as it awkwardly entered the pocket on my right hand side, retrieving my phone and single handedly taking a picture of the scene of the crime (seen above). Painstakingly and painfully, I spent the next hour of the hike attempting to remove the needles, almost one by one.
As I did, I thought about how these plants probably evolved to be like this: these fruits weren't meant for me. The small opening at the top of the fruit is probably so that insects and birds can bypass the spikes to get the nectar. Having no knowledge of prickly pears outside of Baloo's song, I started to feel a little paranoid. Not about being poisoned, none of the needles went deep into my hand, but that I had done something I shouldn't have.
In this state, I noticed more bugs, as if the needles in my hand had attracted them to me. More flies were landing on me and I saw this massive species of wasp I'd never seen before. I could feel sweat making its way down my forehead. So in a sort of half panic I tipped out the prickly pear from my bag, before continuing upwards on the hike.
Later when I got home, I looked up prickly pears finding out how nutritious they are. I felt disappointed I'd discarded it and wished I could go back on time to shuffle it back into my bag again. I searched the Bear Necessities song, the one I probably knew word-for-word when I was a child, finding that second half of the line contained some very useful retrospective knowledge:
Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw, when you pick a pear try to use the claw